Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
