hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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