i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
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We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
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I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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