I cockslap morals
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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