oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
A bitchslap is in order.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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