before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Randomize
