are you still at the devil's house?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
