Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
