i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
