That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
