She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
