He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
