Nicole vs. Life
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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