She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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