so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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