Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
