My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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