I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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