marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
