My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
