Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
