Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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