State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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