Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
