I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
