If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
