i just had sex bonerless
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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