I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
