What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
