love makes seman taste better
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
