That's intense
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
