just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
