I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it's great music for shaving your balls
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
