Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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