Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
