i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
