I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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