____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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