he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
