I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
