i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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