we have pet lesbian snakes
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
