Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
