i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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