The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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