do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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