hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
