"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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