shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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