Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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