I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
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so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
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When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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