is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
