So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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