Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
