I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
