The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
