At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
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sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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