He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
