Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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