do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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