don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have aggressive nipples.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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