yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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