I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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